winter blues and other melancholies

winter is a really rough time of year.

it’s a time to hibernate and sleep and breathe and recoup, but sometimes, you don’t really get that option, so you dig your heels in and put your energy toward everything else that needs attention and forget about the rest.

and you know what?

that’s okay.

we have this maddening societal need to always hustle, always move, and i really truly think that’s the cause of a lot of our problems.

granted, society is also set up in a way that also necessitates the need to always be grinding, but that isn’t the best case scenario in the long run.

no wonder we’re sick and burnt out all the time.

this winter, try to take some time to breathe and be and rest.

not that you need my permission to do so, but i promise you it’s okay.

the world will be there when you get back to it, whenever that might be.

xx

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blowing the dust off

i’m not going to lie.

i over-extended myself to get to the con earlier in the year and i’ve been suffering from extreme burnout.

that said, i am feeling more ambitious and creative than i have in months and i’m ready to kick it in the ass and get back to doing the things that i enjoy!

watch this space in the next few weeks as i re-organize and get everything back into tip-top shape!

next up? studio crawl!

xx

to con or not to con

was it ever a question?

i’m taking a leap and vending at my first fan convention this year and let me tell you, it’s a little nuts.

this does not bode well for the rest of the weekend, considering that this is only thursday.

remember me fondly, friends, for i may not survive!

christmases are really hard

i don’t think i’ve had a proper christmas since the year i stood in front of my mother, pleading with her that she get up off her chair and help me set up the christmas tree on christmas eve.

she never did.

she wouldn’t even look at me, asking if it was so wrong of her to want her children with her for christmas, like i wasn’t even there.

my brother had declined to come home, and somehow, my being home instead wasn’t good enough or even considered any sort of reason for festivities and yuletide fun at all.

she didn’t budge and my dad and i, dejected but trudging along because what else could we do?, made the best of it, just the two of us, putting up the tree and making dinner.

fast forward a few years and my parents are now divorced and i’m not a teenager begging for my mother to love me anymore, but seeing happy families with their perfect trees and their trauma-free yule time celebrations is just… really bittersweet.

i know it’s not the tree itself that’s important. the tree is inconsequential. nor is the fact that i don’t have any ornaments.

i don’t even know if i want a christmas tree and i’m actually feeling quite stupid for feeling so upset over such a dumb thing, but i told myself a while back that i would learn to sit and be comfortable with being uncomfortable.

i guess this is a part of that.

anyway, christmases may be hard, but i do try to remember that there are good things as well as bad and that bad things don’t last forever, even if the hurts tend to.

maybe tomorrow i’ll go out and pick out a tree and decorate it as ridiculously as i can with what i have on hand.

wouldn’t that be fun?

xx

some days, you just need popovers

yesterday was a rough day.

there wasn’t anything particularly bad about it, per se, but there were just a bunch of small inconveniences that kept piling on and on until it was just too much.

it happens, right?

right.

anyway, shitty day aside, i decided that to fix my mood, i was going to make popovers.

i haven’t made popovers in years.

that said, they’re super simple, provided you don’t open the oven.

i neither confirm or deny making that mistake.

part of the fun, though, was just randomly deciding to make a treat that i’d not had in years and let me tell you.

it made me feel much better.

xx